Let me start by saying that I have been avoiding doing this post over the last few weeks,
mostly because typing it out means this is real!
PBS FM has a coffee cup in it’s kitchen that sums me up perfectly right now. It simply says:
“I am a fucking wreck”!
I am in tears as I type this and have been crying many times over the last few weeks. I am not sure how to write this and do Moni justice, but here goes…
I was under strict orders from Moni not to mention it, but for the last several months, Monika has been fighting cancer. Battling a particularly nasty set of tumours that spread incredibly rapidly. On July 4th 2021, Moni lost that battle.
In the perfect science of hindsight I should have seen that this was a possibility, but we both worked on the assumption that Moni being young (just 49) and fit, that she would beat this.
I’ve often said Moni was beautiful, both inside and out. As an example, always thinking of others, when Moni first got sick she suggested I work with other people. However I wanted to show her support during what surely must have been an unimaginably stressful time and I turned the idea down. I had always worked on the assumption we would both pick up Disco computer once Moni was better, brush off the cobwebs and simply continue from where we left off!
Sadly that wasn’t to be…
Monika was much more than just a vocalist, or just a bandmate to me. She was one of my closest friends over the last 15 years, as well as my musical partner in crime. Moni was slowly building up the courage to play keyboards (despite teaching keyboard as a subject in multiple schools) and I genuinely looked forward to seeing in what direction her keyboard skills would have taken us.
Monika was one of the few people this introvert could talk to when things get me down (And with me being on anti depressants, I have several things that get me down), and I in turn was someone she could talk to and get a male perspective on things (hopefully without too much male bias). And more than once we spent a couple of hours on the phone confiding to each other about things that had been going on in our lives.
Also, a huge thank you to the family for allowing me to be at her funeral. It was an honour to not only be invited there, but to be a pallbearer as well. I also appreciated being able to speak at her wake (despite not being certain I should). I can’t imagine what you guys are going through right now, but my thoughts are with you at the this time. They were a rock for Moni when it mattered and I will always remember that.
Before I forget, in honour of her memory the latest edition of my radio show IrvineJUMP! was dedicated to Monika’s memory. I struggled with presenting it, but it was extremely important to me to do it and hopefully, I did a reasonable job of honouring Moni.
IrvineJUMP! – Retro beats with Tony Irvine | PBS FM
On a related note, I have spent quite a bit of time over the last few weeks thinking about Disco computer and whether or not it should even continue, which is another reason why this post took so long to write.
On the one hand, there is simply no replacement for Moni, but on the other Disco computer is one of the few things currently keeping me together. So partly for my sanity’s sake and partly for Monika’s memory I have decided to try keep Disco computer afloat.
There WILL be changes, Disco computer will be more, well, Disco, and I will begin looking the huge task of looking for a new singer soon…
RIP Monika, I miss you terribly!
Tony
Beautifully written my friend. Moni will be missed by so many x